Part 2 of our Holiday Series:5 Tips for Supporting Eating Recovery over the Holidays

The holidays can be a very challenging time for people in recovery from an eating disorder. Fortunately, there are several ways to cope with holiday stress and also maintain recovery momentum. The article below will help arm you with an arsenal of coping skills to take with you this holiday season as you visit friends and family.

Use grounding techniques at the dinner table or at holiday gatherings.

How often do you slow down and notice sensations in your body? Grounding techniques help one listen to signals in their body so they can decide how to best handle a situation. The holiday dinner table, which can be an overwhelming environment for many people, is also a great place to practice these techniques. Some of my favorite techniques include:

• Noticing my feet on the floor and reminding myself that I’m supported by the ground beneath me

• Rubbing my hands together and noticing the natural heat that builds.

• Inhaling to a count of 4 and exhaling to a count of 6. This one may be a little tricky to do while in the presence of others, but doing so turns on the parasympathetic nervous system that supports calm emotions.

• Drinking a cold or hot beverage and focusing on the sensation, scent, and temperature.

There are many benefits to practicing grounding techniques, but the main one (in my opinion) is that doing so helps you transition from a dysregulated state to a connected state. When we are regulated we are able to make decisions that honor our best interests. Being connected at the dinner table may prevent you from reverting back to disordered behaviors as a response to overwhelm.

Write down and keep recovery goals with you.

It’s easy to get lost in the holiday shuffle and forget established recovery goals. We tend to lose some recovery momentum when we forget why we are working so hard in treatment anyways. Eating disorders also have a way of capitalizing on moments when we feel frazzled or over exerted. For these reasons, its essential to keep a list of reasons why recovery is important:

Your list may look something like this:

1) To heal my relationship with food and with my body.

2) To experience freedom to eat what I want and to not criticize myself

3) To be able to enjoy social events that have food

Eating recovery is hard work! Keep yourself grounded by remaining aware of the reasons you’re on this journey.

It may also be helpful to carry an object with you that reminds you of your therapy journey. I like to give my clients shells that signify that they are not alone in the work they are doing. My clients carry their shells with them in between sessions or during holidays as a reminder of their recovery “why.”

Avoid "diet"talk" or fear mongering conversations.

You can likely expect that someone will make a triggering food or body related comment over the holidays, because diet culture is so entrenched in our culture. We are familiar with the food guilt and body shame that rears its ugly head each holiday season. Remember that you do not have to engage in these conversations! You can redirect the conversation (change the topic), leave the conversation, or simply say “its not helpful for me to talk about __”.

When one person chooses to abstain from diet talk it usually creates a ripple effect causing more people to do so as well. There are likely others that also need a break from diet culture this year and who would benefit from refraining from diet related talk.

Continue practicing your life-giving behaviors

I usually recommend that my clients establish and maintain behaviors that help them feel connected to themselves. When practiced regularly, these behaviors help tether us to our goals and our sense of self.

Examples:

• Calling your partner before bed

• mindfulness when you wake up

• walking the dog for 15 minutes

• listening to a podcast while on a walk

When you have established behaviors, you may pivot to practice these behaviors quite easily, even when the holidays knock you out of your routine.

Remind yourself what you owe yourself and what you don't owe others.

Many people are fixated on the concept of health and they feel the need to comment on other peoples’ food choices. Its perfectly OK to enjoy foods over the holidays and to experience freedom from food or weight related shame.

I encourage you to remind yourself of the following truths:

• You owe yourself a connected and safe relationship with food and with your body.

• You owe yourself the opportunity to unlearn toxic messages about there being “good” foods and “bad” foods.

• You owe yourself freedom from internalized body shame and pressures to fit the “ideal” body type.

• You do NOT owe anyone “health” according to their definitions.

• You do NOT owe anyone an explanation for why you eat what you eat.

• Similarly, you do NOT owe anyone an explanation for why you choose to abstain from dieting or weight loss efforts.

Every holiday brings complicated messages about food and bodies. This year, you can use these skills to stay connected to yourself and your recovery goals.